Blue's News . . .

These Moments

2012-01-22T00:38:00.000-06:00

My cousin Debbie sold Tupperware back when I got married. Before the wedding we had a Tupperware bridal shower of some sort where I got a ton of Tupperware. One thing in particular that I remember was a dish that was the perfect size for making meals for two. We used that salmon colored dish constantly. We lived in this little apartment in our little college town. Other than our neighbor's maybe seven year old son who would come and ask if Neil could play, or an occasional study group, it was pretty quiet in our place. Most of our college friends were single at the time, and they didn't like to come over to our apartment much . . . the assumption was that we were always "busy", and I don't mean busy with schoolwork ifyouknowwhatImean, being newlyweds and all. So it was a bit on the lonely side until we got to know some other married couples.

Fast forward to today. Life is very rarely quiet. Our house is typically messy, it just is what it is. When I buy food, it disappears quickly, so it seems as if there is never anything to snack on. That salmon colored dish has fallen to the wayside after being relegated as too small for anything other than a side dish. In life we do a lot of running around, taking kids to friend's, school activities, youth group activities, and everything else. I always have a list of appointments and phone calls that need to be made. Sometimes I can become overwhelmed by all that I need to do but can't quite get accomplished.

This past week I was making dinner, and I was looking around grumbling to myself about how lovely it would be to have a table free from paperwork, when it struck me once again. Life is so fleeting. This time, it is zooming by, and soon Neil and I will be back to a quiet, possibly clean, house once again. In the blink of an eye this stage of life will be over and I will be reminiscing about the days when I was feeding teenagers and cleaning up the same spills over and over, and maybe even laughing about the constant mediation of arguments between siblings. Or not. ;)

Having kids is not something I want to take for granted. It is an awesome, sacred gift that some days feels like more than I deserve. I do not feel worthy of the responsibility that God has given us. In those moments, where I can see the place that I am in right now, I so do not want to have regrets. I want to have an attitude of appreciation for this stage of my life where I am able to serve my family in a way I never will be able to again. It is an act of service to clean up those spills, to make a meal that our family can enjoy together, and even cleaning those toilets. Some people would do anything to be able to have the privileges that I complain about. I am spoiled rotten. There will be plenty of time for cleaning, for now I want to focus on enjoying the moments, and being thankful for what I have.

Life as a multi-tasker AKA "Mom"

2012-01-20T12:24:00.000-06:00

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN by Kathy Fictorie

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.

She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she will trip over boots into the freezer. Running into the freezer will reminder her . .. she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook. The cookbook is under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old. She will smell something funny. While she is changing her two year old the phone will ring. Her five year old will answer the phone and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

This made me laugh when I read it on a friend's status. I can so very much relate! My kids, they are beyond the diaper stage (praise the Lord)but for some reason I still can't focus on just one task. And they still eat my treats. They find my hidden chocolate stash every. single.time.
Let's face it, it is the ~~ADD,~~ I mean, multi-tasking behavior described above that helped me to get my toilets cleaned yesterday. Some days, you take what you can get ... yes?

[Simplify]

2012-01-13T12:00:00.000-06:00

source

This year if I were to pick a word for the year, a motto for myself, it would be SIMPLIFY. I want to clear out the clutter, get rid of the things we don't need, simplify our lives.

Starting with, cleaning out our closets. Getting rid of the things we don't wear. We all have too many things that we don't wear, and I want us to have less things that we wear more often. I have started doing this over the winter with my clothes and clearing out the "eh" stuff while keeping only the things I love... if I am going to wear the same things more often, then I want them to be things I love. Cleaning out the stuff I have had for years sometimes means I have to be firm with myself and stop rationalizing how I "might need that". I am also simplifying my skin care and makeup routines. I have started some new things with that intention, but I will wait until I have used it awhile and know the results before I share. ;)

Simplifying life in general.

That should keep me busy for a few days. . . weeks ... months...okay, maybe that will keep me busy all year.

Christmas DIY

2012-01-12T11:09:00.000-06:00

If I were to pick a word to describe last year, it might have to be "DIY". I spent much of the year discovering new DIY options for things I use every day, everything from homemade vanilla extract to homemade detergent. I made more things last year than I probably ever have before. And it was so much fun! Mostly I love that I can find a recipe for just about anything by searching it on Pinterest. I discovered Pinterest in the fall of 2010 when I knew about 2 people on it. Now it has exploded and tons of people are pinteresting that I know, which is cool because, well, the more the merrier. When it came to Christmas gift giving, I focused on that same idea of DIY. Here is a sampling of some things I made to give ...

Luxury Lotion Bars-- I am so glad I made these! They are awesome and work better than anything on our family's excema issues. My friend Tracy came over and we made these together using candy molds.

Recipe is HERE if you want to try it for yourself. :)

Lip Balm- Recipe HERE. We played around with the ingredients, you can do that when you do it yo-self, ya know. I liked the almond oil because it is really moisturizing.

Caramels... this recipe is from a friend at church. So delicious! I got the recipe a couple years ago but saw you needed a candy thermometer and for some reason that totally threw me off. Made the whole project seem much more complicated, haha. But I decided to dive in this year, and went to my good friend Hobby Lobby for the candy thermometer, along with my 40% off coupon. I was thinking it would be super expensive (yes, I am ignorant to such complicated gadgets), and what do you know, it was like $4 before my coupon. So yeah, much ado about nothing. It was totally worth it.

My first time making a wreath. Loved the process, it was very fun to do and I honestly had a hard time giving it away, I almost became an indian giver on this one... just kidding. My mom in law is totally worth the time and effort put into the pretty lil wreath.

No recipe here, just playing around with yarn and felt, and random Christmas-y decor.

It was very fufilling to give handmade. Looking forward to doing it again in 2012.

Loss

2012-01-07T23:36:00.000-06:00

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

This week we lost a friend. Not the kind of friend you see around and are friendly with. Not the kind you wish you had known better. But the kind of friend that you have history with. Not history that is pretty. The history we had with him was deep, meaningful, life changing, a bit ugly, and tinged with regret.

When Neil and I first met Jon, we were brand new to Pennsylvania. This guy was the kind of guy that when he walked in a room you noticed it. He demanded attention. Not in a prideful, look at me way. No, to the contrary, he was the embodiment of self deprecation. He was boisterous, and stinkin' hilarious. He made life fun. He drew everyone in with his jokes, his laughter, his silliness. He introduced us to Brian Regan, a comedian that to this day we can never watch without hearing Jon's voice echoing in our heads.

When we met Jon and his wife, I remember saying to Neil, "Now here is a couple that I think we will be friends with." And here is the thing about Neil and I. I thrive on my girl friendships, I do. I need them. Neil, he is different than I am in that he finds a lot of his social fulfillment in ministry and family relationships. He doesn't naturally seek out guy friends. Jon, he reached out to Neil like no one had in a long time. He showed up at our house, invited Neil to hang out or go places, invited us to social gatherings and over to their house for the kids to play together. He was a friend to Neil in a way that Neil didn't even know he needed. He loved on Neil. He opened up and shared his life with Neil. He was real and authentic. He shared his struggles with depression. I saw that and was always so impressed at the kind of friend Jon was to Neil. It was a joy to watch from the wife's perspective.

Life happens, and about 5 years into our friendship something changed. It was unexpected, it was painful, and it took our friendship to a different place. Without sharing anything that doesn't need to be shared, let's just say that the end result was a distance in our relationship. Everyone was well intention-ed, we just came to a sort of impasse. I can only speak for Neil and I to say that it was extremely painful and heart wrenching. We couldn't find a way to restore what was once there. This may very well be the most painful relational issue I have ever been through and I pray to God that we never have to experience anything like this again. However, it was what it was.

We ended up moving to Kansas less than two years later. Before we left I kept waiting for the right opportunity to have a restorative conversation, but it never came and we left with some regrets in that area.

We were never able to get back to PA, it had been over 3 years. Sometimes, I will admit, when taking communion at church, God would bring this couple to my mind. I would struggle with how to resolve this, was there even a way. So much was out of my control. So much was issues of the past, wishing I would have said this or done that. Regret. Loss. Pain. It hurts. I determined that if and when we ever got back to PA I would hunt them down and make things right. Or better. Or something.

This year, for Christmas, we decided to surprise the kids with a trip back. It was a wonderful surprise and the trip was so very lovely. On Sunday we were able to go to church and be surrounded by all these awesome people. I kept looking around for them. They were not there. My heart sank. Was my opportunity gone? Then I saw her, Katie. Their daughter was running around the church with Becca, laughing just like they did when they were young. I asked Katie if her parents were there. She said no. "How are you getting home?" I asked. "My dad, he is waiting in the parking lot for me." Neil and I took off for the door. If you can envision a church parking lot, he was in the far corner of the lot. We walked across the lot, wondering what he was thinking as we walked. We got to there and had to knock on the window in order for him to open it up and talk to us. The conversation we had, well, it doesn't need to be shared here but I will say that we were able to tell him how much we loved him, how much he meant to us, how thankful we were for his friendship. I will say, he looked broken. He was kind and sweet, but so different than the man I remember. It made me sad. Neil and I talked about it on the way home to Kansas, saying how it just didn't seem right, he looked like he needed serious help, and how we needed to call one of the pastors asap.

We got home on Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning we got the call that Jon had taken his own life the day before. Devastation.

There are so many components to a person's life. We have not been a part of Jon's life in so many years ... so I have no idea what has been happening, how he has been, nothing. I know nothing. This is just my story and all I know is that God gave me this gift. He gave me this gift of time with Jon during his last few days on earth. He gave me an opportunity to connect and say what I wanted to say, and to take away some regret I would have felt had I not seen him. I have no idea why, no idea about the timing of it all. I wonder what we could have said, should have said, might have said, that would have made a difference. There are no answers on this side of eternity. Let me say this though. He struggled with these issues for so long, I believe that perhaps he distanced himself from those who could help him. Depression is painful and something no one can understand unless you have been there. I will not judge, in spite of all my questions and longings for a different outcome. He is at peace now, with His Heavenly Father, and I look forward to that reunion in heaven someday. Away from the pain and darkness and sorrow. I am so thankful to have met Jon. Thankful to have crossed paths with him in this life. So thankful for someone who knew us and our dirt, who we knew and his dirt. .. not just surfacey Sunday morning side of someone, but the real, nitty gritty stuff that makes us who we are. And we loved him.

Santa Baby

2011-12-24T18:47:00.002-06:00

This is what teenage girls do when they have too much time on their hands. Here is my Becca and her friend Bailee having fun on Friday night. It is my Christmas gift to you. Love and Hugs!

This & That Randomness

2011-12-22T15:56:00.000-06:00

Well, Christmas is just around the corner. Snow started to fall today, and then it stopped.

I dream of a white Christmas every year.

My house is so quiet right now. No one else is home. I am enjoying this moment, I know that it won't last. And I totally should be wrapping gifts but um, I am not. I am blogging since I haven't blogged all week. :) Oh, and I am also getting my Pinterest fix for the day. It is my favorite time waster (yes, maybe even more than facebook) ... I started it last year when there were only two friends of mine on there. Now it has exploded and there are so many people jumping on the Pinterest bandwagon. I really like it for DIY ideas, recipes, and I love the wish list. I suspect that my hubby has used that wishlist for some of my Christmas gifts. Such a smart man!

I have spent the week buried in laundry that has gotten overlooked for the last few weeks . . . I have finally gotten caught up, what a great feeling. Now, if only no one else would dirty any clothes, take a shower, or spill a drink for at least a day so I can enjoy the break. Yeah right.

Crafty with Old Leather (with tutorial link)

2011-12-17T10:00:00.000-06:00

One of my good friends asked me to make some leather cuff bracelets for her nieces for Christmas gifts. They are made out of old leather belts. It was so much fun to do. One of my favorite things to do is getting crafty and creative! Now I just hope she loves them as much as I do! ;)

Beauty Full

Joy & Love

Edited to add: I am far too ~~lazy,~~ I mean, busy to do a tutorial so I will just show you the one that got me started. It is by a friend of mine from high school who is super talented and crafty. Alicia does a great tutorial HERE if you want to learn how to do this. I look for cheap leather belts at yard sales and at the Goodwill, there are so many awesome ones that you can get for like a couple bucks or less (50 cents is my typical yard sale price). I have advanced to the stage where now I try new things like the stamping of metal accessories, etc. Yep, so advanced. haha

If you try it, let me know how it goes!

December Birthdays

2011-12-16T17:45:00.002-06:00

So December is a busy month for us. Evan hit the big "14" this year. Had some friends over to play some video games. We have banned video games in our house ;) so he had his friends bring the gaming stuff, too.

And Ava, well, at "6" she went through the rite of passage that all my children have.

Can you guess what it is?

She dragged the whole family to . . .

Chuck E Cheese. Oh yes indeed.

To be fair, all the kids in our house love that place. Neil and I, notsomuch. We lucked out on this particular afternoon, because it was not busy at all. And we realized how much easier it is now that the kids are older... not so stressful... sort of...fun.

Bitter Betty went through all the pictures on my cell phone and counted how many I had of Ava vs. her. (Ava won by a landslide, but in my defense I am with her during the day still when everyone else is in school!)

Ava has gained my mad skills for skee ball. She spent the majority of her tokens here!

All in all, it was a surprisingly good afternoon

We are enjoying loving on our kids, and thankful for the opportunity to be in their lives. :)

Hello December

2011-12-01T13:37:00.001-06:00

December Already?

The year is just flying by. I am having so much fun getting ready for Christmas. Decorating the tree, the house, putting up Christmas lights, listening to Christmas music, Christmas gift projects, and planning some Christmas surprises for my kids . . . I am loving all of it this year!

My oldest son will turn fourteen tomorrow. That is so insane. He is growing so fast, and it is amazing to see. He is surrounded by these great guys who love him, encourage him and support him ... what a blessing true friends are.

No Shave November was celebrated by my guy this year...

and as cute as he is looking like a mountain man, I am also happy to have his smooth face back now. :)

Holiday Perspective

2011-11-22T20:18:00.001-06:00

This time of year can be quite the challenge for me to keep my priorities straight. To not get caught up with the commercialization of Christmas. Especially as it relates to my kids. I see so many things that I would love to buy them... It would be easy to go crazy because let's face it, shopping is fun! We are committed to our debt free lifestyle though. So this is where the challenge comes in. Keeping perspective on what the holiday is really about. It is not about the gifts. I need this on repeat in my head. Not about the gifts, faith. Not about the gifts! I have lots of handmade gift ideas floating in my head. So excited to put them into action for the people I love. Sadly, it is hard to get to the fun stuff I want to when there is always work (and laundry!) calling my name. Such is life. ;-)My goals for Christmas 2011 . . . Christ Centered. Meaningful. Simple. Lovely. Handmade. Thoughtful. Joyful. Pretty much not what I feel when I see a Black Friday commercial or step into a mall. There it is all about a buying frenzy. It's all about "stuff", as much as you can get, even if it means paying for it for years to come on your credit card. I saw a commercial for one of those loan places where you can "get cash today" and I wondered how many people do that, out of a desperation to give their kids lots of presents in order to make the "perfect" Christmas experience. An experience that will end with a bunch of junk that kids may not even remember, didn't need, may not even want, and will probably be broken in less than a month when they are still not even paid for yet. So again, as a reminder to myself more than anyone else . . .Christ Centered. Meaningful. Simple. Lovely. Handmade. Thoughtful. Joyful.

Is it just me, or is Kindergarten hard these days?

2011-11-18T18:47:00.001-06:00

If there is one thing I love, it's mommy homework. Um, or not. With four kids we do get our fair share of homework around here. For the most part they can get their work done on their own, except for a project here or there. We don't get into the parent doing kid's project routine so our kid's projects end up looking like, well, looking like they did it themselves. We have kid who is a hand holder that requires, well, just that. Enter Kindergarten and our 4th student beginning the process. Suddenly it's like I am homeschooling. Daily. After she has spent a half day being schooled. The amount of homework is ridiculous. I am not new to the over achieving teacher, but they are the kind I want to avoid more than any other. But this teacher has a ridiculous amount of homework that requires my participation ... I mean, hello, it's Kindergarten. We have to sign off on a weekly list of things we are done with how much time we spent on it... new sight words, baggie books, flashcards, reading, etc. If I miss checking off anything, I get a frowny face or question mark alerting me to the error of my ways. Seriously! This is of course on top of the daily homework ... those worksheets where they copy letters, write words, etc. I do not remember any of my other kids having any sight words this early in Kindergarten. (Perhaps Pennsylvania is a more relaxed place as far as Kindergarten goes... that is where all 3 of our other kids started school?). Bonus for us is that last week they also added spelling words to the weekly chore list. Spelling words. I think I am on the bad list for slacker moms, as I get reminders that I need to be quizzing Ava more and more and more ... she must be falling behind since she doesn't know all her sight words yet. If I wanted to homeschool, don't you think I would be homeschooling? Oh, and so Ava has missed the last two days of school. She has been miserable with a fever. Then today I got an email reminder that she has two days for every missed day to get her missed work turned in. Sigh. Oh the joys.

Sick Day

2011-11-17T11:48:00.001-06:00

My little Ava girl is sick today... she woke up with a fever. Which makes it a good cuddling day for the two of us. Forget all the errands I needed to run, cleaning and studying I wanted to get done... all that can wait. Instead we will lose ourselves in "A Little Princess", one of my very favorite movies ever.

Good Will Hunting

2011-11-16T14:41:00.000-06:00

When the weather starts getting colder, and the sales go away I start GoodWill Hunting. You can find some great deals at your local Goodwill. This past weekend I was on the hunt for some blouses that I can wear with sweaters rather than the usual tshirts I wear all the time. Part of it was inspired when I read THIS BLOG. Part of it came from looking at my wardrobe. Anyway, I was off to check it out and this is what I found...

I found this Old Navy blouse that was a red tag special .. whoohoo... that means it was HALF OFF.

So I paid $2.00 for it.

This Banana Republic blouse was $3.99

This blouse was Ann Taylor for $3.99

And this Merona sweater (that's a Target brand) was just $4.49

Now garage sales can make me kind of a cheapskate and I will think, man, I could get that for a buck at a yard sale. But then I remind myself of how much it would cost at the retail store and I am like, oh yes, this is good. Especially when they all look brand new and the total was under $15! I love a deal. :)

Treasure Hunting

2011-11-15T17:50:00.001-06:00

People will say to me many times, I need to go garage saling with you! As if I hold the magic key to which all good garage sales arrive, haha. The honest truth is simply that I go to a lot of sales. Every weekend if possible. I go to a lot of bad sales in order to find the good ones. If I am not being careful, I miss a lot of good stuff. Like when I almost passed by a table filled with jeans because the rest of the sale was pricey and I was ready to get outta there. I glanced at the jeans, saw they were my size and asked how much she was asking for the clothes. When she said 25 cents, I started looking and sure enough, I took home a stack of Banana Republic and Gap jeans for less than a $2.00 total. That is a lot of fun, but doesn't happen all the time. Last month I found a sale where the guy bought out a drug store and stocked up on Burt's Bees toothpastes, chapsticks, and lotions for $1 each. All brand new in unopened packages. I don't know any other way to make it happen other than to go out every week. For me it is like a treasure hunt where you never know what you will find. I always have a list of what I am looking for, and try not to get distracted.

Now what do I do when the garage-saling season is over? I will tell you tomorrow...

Thirty-Nine

2011-11-12T13:00:00.000-06:00

Today I turn thirty nine.

-getting older is a mixed bag for me, i don't hate it, but it just feels weird to me. i would really like to say i feel wiser with my age, but i don't
i feel just the same
just a person who daily struggles to have more self discipline
striving to be better at this and that
daily working on not comparing herself to others
one who desires to be someone that her kids enjoy being around
longing for greater contentment
wanting to be faithful in even the little things
thankful to be surrounded by great people because they inspire greatness in her.

I was going to list out 39 things I want to do this year, but it was taking too long and I don't know that I have that many things I want to do this year so instead I will share with you two things on my wish list.

Before I turn 40 I want to. . .
-Take a family road trip to our second home, in Pennsylvania. It has been far too long since I have seen my friends and church family there. The middle school girl's group that my friend Meg and I led together my last year there will graduate from high school this year. I cannot believe it, and must see them before they head off for college.
-Take a missions trip with my Dad and Becca to India next summer. Just typing that out there is scary enough. But we have been talking about it for awhile now, and I am getting excited to see if that is in His plan and if so, how God will work and move to make that happen.

Snapshots of a summer past (2011)

2011-11-11T13:48:00.000-06:00

I didn't blog this summer so I am adding this for my personal benefit. ;)

Summer just is not summer without summer camp. At least that is how it goes in youth ministry. One of my favorite weeks of the summer because our whole family goes and we get so much extended time with really awesome teenagers.

Chicago Missions Trip

Lots of hard work, sweat, and showering in a smelly basement with rats (I wish I was just kidding) gave me a new perspective on my life and ministry.

Volleyball almost every Thursday night of the summer.

Every year we go to the Youth Worker's Getaway at Youthfront Camp.

My favorite part? Seeing our favorite gang-the Stanley families.

Gayle and I met when we were pregnant with our first kids and Angie, we go back all the way to high school where we met at Youthfront (then YFC) camps. Love them.

Messy Blog

2011-11-10T09:30:00.000-06:00

I like to read blogs, some people don't and that is fine and dandy but I find them so inspiring and encouraging. Sometimes I feel like if I am reading a bazillion blogs that are all like, "hey, look here at me and my perfect life" then I am ready to take a break for a bit so I can get refocused. And by that I mean, stop comparing my life to someone's "blog life" which is basically just the parts of their life that are pretty and show-worthy. But then sometimes I come across one that makes me think, YES. This is real, genuine, with the messiness that is real life. But it has grace poured all of it. Go read what Jami has to say in her blog post, here. And then, when you finish, go read this. What Sarah had to say resonated with me so much because that story is one that I could share, one of missed opportunity and regret, yeah, I do that, too. I may have shared a similar post from Jami before... honestly, I either did it or wanted to in the past. Hmm, oh well...that is typical of how I do things like repeating stories to my children and friends over and over again. I am turning into my mother. Not that I am complaining about that, cause I love her and speaking of, she is very good at being transparent and real.

There is something so refreshing about people being able to share their story in a real honest way that still is honoring ... to the other people in their story, and to our heavenly Father.

I {heart} fall.

2011-11-08T13:01:00.000-06:00

Our little Birdie started Kindergarten this year. This involves lots more homework than I remember for any of our other kids their first year of school. Maybe it is indeed getting harder ... or maybe I am just getting old?

Of course, there is fun involved with school...

And I am super thankful for the lifegroup we are in at church.

We were able to go on a float/camping trip this fall with a couple families from our lifegroup at church plus my friend Tracy and her family (who knows everyone else who went) as well. They missed being in the group picture, boo. It was so much fun to get away for a few days and the weather was fantastic.

I would love to push the PAUSE button on life right as a family. I am embracing the ages that all of our kids are at, they are so much fun to be around and they make life so sweet.

Garage Sale'n

2011-10-06T15:13:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite season. The weather this year has been amazing. I am embracing it. This also happens to be my favorite time of the year for garage sales. I get kind of giddy about it, yeah I know, some may think I am weird... don't me judging me and my thriftiness. I am going to share with you some of my favorite finds, but not now. Today I would like to share with you my garage sale pet peeves. There are many . . . it happens when you hit as many as sales as I do, I could probably write a book on it.

Please go to some garage sales before you have one yourself. See what the average prices are for garage sale basics, then try to price yours accordingly. I mean, that is, if you would like people to buy your stuff. ;) Because some sales I go to, I honestly think they must not want to sell their stuff. Surely you don't think I am going to pay $4 for a pair of your stinky old shoes? This fall I have seen shoes marked for $10-$20. No, not brand new shoes . . . old beat up shoes. Seriously people? I rarely buy shoes... unless they are brand new and/or are like a quarter. On average nice shoes go for about a buck where we live. Last week I saw a pair of old nasty black Chuck Taylor's for $4 . . . then about two sales later I saw some almost brand black Chuck Taylor's for 75cents. I snatched those puppies up and went home to give them to a happy camper.

Overpricing makes me crazy. When you have a garage sale, realize you are selling your junk that you don't want anymore . . . if you don't sell it here you will most likely be giving it away or putting it back in your house. Take an offer if it is fair and reasonable, just do it. Otherwise you will be looking at that thing the rest of the weekend wishing you had.

Nothing makes me want to leave a sale faster than those pre-marked stickers. I get it. Pricing is a pain, and you are tired, it's late, you just want to be done, yada yada.... but I can't tell you how crazy it makes me when people price things based on what stickers they have left. Don't deny it, you know you have done this if you use those pre-marked stickers. You say to yourself, "Self, I have this $2 sticker left, hmm, what can I use it on? Oh that t shirt, yeah, that is nice enough to be $2"... deep down you know that tshirt should be 50cents so stop being crazy like that. It always makes me laugh when I am at a sale and see those so I say, "will you take less" and they respond, "Oh yeah, I just ran out of ___ stickers". Yes, it happens, often. If you are feeling tired just do what I call the lazy price method. You know lazy pricing . . . where you stick a sign on the front of a table that says, "$1" or whatever.

There are times when I will pay more for something ... it is becoming rarer now a days because I typically know that I can find what I am looking for at another sale since I am out enough. But there are times where I am looking for something specific and if I don't find it here then I will have to pay full price at a retail store. So then when I find it, if I may an offer and they say no, I will consider paying their asking price. That is just the bargainer in me.

So there you have it. My garage sale rant for the day. What do you think? Do you love/hate garage sales? Do you even notice those pre-priced stickers? Find any good deals lately?

Deal Breaker

2011-03-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

source

Some days I hate checking my email.
I dread it, actually.
I avoid it.
Why, you ask?
It is overwhelming.
Takes so much time to sift through.
So many annoying emails.

I do realize how much of it I am personally responsible for. I have added myself to these "daily deals" email lists. Trying to "save money" on things I supposedly spend money on. Only I don't, um, spend money on those things I end up buying. Like Groupon. Muncharoo. Dealpulp. Living Social. All those cool one day deals. I am unsubscribing from them all. Today. Right now for that matter. It is ridiculous. For every one deal I would possibly use, there are a hundred I wouldn't ever use. Which equals out to be a time waster.

Here I go, I just clicked over and unsubscribed from Living Social. Seeing all these awesome travel deals that I can't participate in, well, that is no fun anyway. It was a one click deal, thank goodness. When you have to go through a five step process to unsubscribe, I rarely make it past the second step, I end up getting annoyed and quit the process. But today, I am strong. I am a deleting and unsubscribing champion.

Ah. I feel much better now.

Inked

2011-03-17T17:25:00.000-05:00

Hello Sunshine!

Snow on Monday, 78 degrees on Thursday, yeah, that's about right. I love Kansas and it's bi-polar weather.

Apparently we have discovered our skin here at the Bilyeu house. I guess that I can understand, winter kept it hidden away for so long. So what do we do with it when we find it? We write all over it. And then we go and show mom and dad proudly. And {of course} take pictures.

Happy St Patty's Day.

I am not defined by {that}.

2011-03-15T09:08:00.000-05:00

I needed to hear this today.

Monday {Fun Day}

2011-02-28T15:54:00.000-06:00

People always complain about Mondays.

The end of the weekend, the beginning of a new week.

Back to work.

Back to school.

Back to routine after a relaxing and/or busy weekend.

But do you want to know a secret of mine? I love Mondays.

Mondays are probably just about my favorite day of the week.

It is Neil's day off. Our day to spend together with hardly any exception.

Sometimes we get to go out to lunch together, alone, after we drop our little Birdie off at preschool. Other times we sneak off to an afternoon movie. Today we got to hand wash some dishes together, while singing the wrong lyrics as loud as we could to an empty house. Okay, perhaps only one of us sang the wrong lyrics, but in my defense sometimes I think my made up lyrics are better than the original. Don't judge.

Anyway. Every day is a gift. And a day off together? Why, it's a celebration.

Happy Monday, Friends! ♥

Just Quoting

2011-02-24T14:53:00.000-06:00

source

"To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.

Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— CS Lewis

Reading Now

2011-02-22T10:37:00.000-06:00

If I didn't live in a house with six people, if I lived alone, I am pretty sure my place of residence would look something like this:

Let's just say I have a great affection for books.

Here is what my current bedside stack looks like:

One Thousand Gifts. You like my fancy bookmark sticking out of the book? Anyway, this book has really touched my heart (and I have only finished the first few chapters). Here is what the description says---Drawing heartbreaking beauty out of the simplest of details, Ann Voskamp invites you into her grace-bathed life of farming, parenting, and writing---and deeper still into your own life. Here you will discover a way of seeing that opens your eyes to ordinary amazing grace, a way of living that is fully alive, and a way of becoming present to God that brings you deep and lasting joy.

The Book Thief. Becca borrowed this book and never read it, so I took it over. ;) Here is the description on a review I read . . . .This is a story told by Death. An interesting point of view perhaps, but as it is set in Germany during World War II, perhaps it is entirely appropriate. It is also a story of a young girl, who in spite of having a life that no one would wish on anyone, still manages to have glimpses of pleasure through many small things, including the few books that she manages to acquire (or shall we say, steal).

Crazy Love. Just started this one. Here is the description . . . . God is love. Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love. Have you ever wondered if we're missing it? It's crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you've verbalized it yet or not.we all know something's wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts-it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. I started this one for some insights in counseling. Paul David Tripp always has good things to share. The description--- Hope for messy, conflict-ridden relationships. Your best friend is suddenly cool and distant. Your spouse can t stop complaining about your bad habits. Your son refuses to talk to you. What are you supposed to do? Plans A, B, and C might be to shut down, lash out, or get out. But consider Plan D: Recognize that God has the last word on those messy, conflict-ridden relationships. He can use them to make you into someone who can give and receive love with God and others. Impossible? Idealistic? Not really. In Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, Tim Lane and Paul Tripp show you how God does it, and how it can happen for you. They help you tackle the stubborn problems that plague many close relationships. They show you the deeper issues that drive our reactions, choices, and behaviors. And they show you how God steps in to help you build relationships that are all he intended them to be.

Lies Young Women Believe. This is a study that we have been going through this year with Becca and some of her friends from school who meet weekly for accountability. It is excellent. From the description . . . Depression. Anxiety. Broken relationships. Addictions. These are all symptoms of the lies we believe. But these lies can be overcome with scriptural truth.

What are you reading these days? Anything good?

Retreatin'

2011-02-16T22:17:00.001-06:00

Last weekend was our youth group winter retreat.

Lots of kids came, and it was super fun.

Yeah, I know. My husband is super cute.

Our youth group . . . they love playing games. They are currently obsessed with Four Square. Is it an Olympic sport? I don't know, but if it is, we have some serious contenders. Over the weekend we had a Four Square Tournament. It was highly competitive. And we played Basketball. And Volleyball. And Dodge Ball. And Ninja. And I Never (Also known as Never Have I Ever). And Speed Scrabble (my personal favorite). And He Said, She Said. And Man Hunt. See, I am not kidding when I say we like games. It was a very busy weekend. In between all of the fun games, we had some great worship and teaching, too.

All of you people who don't get to hang around teenagers, I truly really believe you are missing out. I think that youth ministry is a hidden treasure in churches today. People avoid it sometimes, for whatever reason, and they miss out on the joy and blessing that comes from building relationships with these awesome people. Teenagers keep me young. They inspire me constantly. They need adults in their life (let's face it, being a teenager is not always easy!), to love them and be there for them. So I would encourage you to get involved with the youth group at your church . . . 'cause it is a very good thing.

I promise.

Happy Weekend!

2011-02-11T14:10:00.000-06:00

Valentines Day. Yes, it's a Hallmark holiday. But I {heart} celebrating love. Any excuse to write love notes, give and receive candy (you know I mean chocolate, right?), and go on a date is a very fine holiday in my book. In fact, I wouldn't mind celebrating Valentine's Day once a month, or hey, even once a week.

Warmer weather this weekend?

Yes, please.

Winter retreat with the youth group?

I am there.

Even if it means not much sleep.

Totally worth it.

Just Makin' Valentines

2011-02-04T14:25:00.001-06:00

The Blizzard of Oz

2011-02-03T22:04:00.000-06:00

photo source

Snow Day. The sound of those words bring about shouts of joy in our house. Kids anxiously await the phone call, the one where the school notifies us "officially" of the cancellation. Having three in public school and one in private school means waiting to hear from two different schools for confirmation. Bedtime routines are thrown to the wind when the news arrives, friends are called immediately to share in the rejoicing. My kids never seem to tire of snow days, even though I do after a day or two.

We had a good amount of snow this time. I think we measured in at about 9" of snow in our neighborhood. It snowed for 14 hours straight in the KC area. They called it a blizzard, a snowpocalypse, and really, all I know is that it is stinkin' COLD out there, and with the temps as they are, I don't see the snow melting any time soon! They are calling for more snow this weekend, too.

You know what I enjoy about snow days? Snow day, slow day. The pace of life changes. Events, practices, schedules are cancelled. Suddenly our schedule clears up dramatically, I don't have to leave the house at all, in fact. I may even stay in my pj's all day. Yes, I said it, all day long. With everyone stuck home, we get to sneak in some extra family time that we might not have otherwise had. Granted, we live in a neighborhood where friends come and go, so we are hardly ever entirely alone as a family. I will take what I can get.

As we passed the third day in a row mark today, I was feeling very ready for the kids to get back in school. Chores were assigned, moans and groans followed, and then . . . I started feeling like I might just get something accomplished after all, hehe. It's always necessary to remind myself that this time passes quickly, I need to appreciate this time with our kids while we have it. The slower pace, it is sweet. It is similar to how every year as we approach summer, we are all so ready for the break from a schedule . . . and as fall comes we are ready to get back into a routine again. Such is life, isn't it?

Random cell phoneness

2011-01-25T18:24:00.000-06:00

I learned something new this past week. I learned how to put pictures from my phone onto the computer. It's about time, yes, I know. This should be something easy but because I had never done it before, I didn't know just how easy it was. Good thing I have a fourteen year old daughter to show me. I found all kinds of pictures from the last few years that I had forgotten about taking. For example . . .

Went to a Chris Tomlin concert in February of 2009. Someone from church offered us free tickets at the last minute. Sat in box seating for the first time ever, it was awesome. I could totally get used to that treatment.

Two summers ago, August 2009, Bee took a photography class.

Here is one of her photographs from that class. Nice, right?

Back in April '09, I can't believe how much she has grown since the day I took this photo.

May 2009. I was working as a teacher at Parents Day Out. Here is my teacher's helper, Stevie.

Goofing around during nap time . . .

Pics from my The Scrapbook Page store layout, where I worked from August 2008 until Feb 2010.

June 2009. Thrift shopping for my sister who was looking for a vintage baby high chair. She didn't end up with this one, though it had great potential.

August 2009. I tried out a tumbling class at the YMCA for Ava. She hated it, no kids her age, so we never went back after the first class. But I got this cute picture out of the deal!

October 2009. Went to another concert somewhere. I have no idea who this was, must have made a real significant impact on my life. ;)

Random picture of my living room. October 2009. Good thing I saved that all this time.

November 2009. Out shopping with Ava and Emily, the girl I watched during the school year.

November 2009 at one of Becca's cheerleading competitions. Nice blurry shot.

Date night out with Spencer and me at Fritz's, the place where a train delivers your food. November 2009.

Naughty boys scrubbing the church building walls. March 2010.

Climbing around while waiting in the car pool line. In PJ's. Dec 2010.

And that is all that I gathered over the last couple years. Well, gee, now that I know how to get to the pictures on my phone, I may make a habit out taking some.

getting over it

2011-01-18T23:03:00.000-06:00

I have shared on here before so it's no secret that I have always struggled with caring about what other people think of me. In this past year I have had several situations arise where I am faced with the fact that someone just plain doesn't like me. And that is okay. Wellll, actually, I am still a work in progress so I will say that I am working to be okay with that. ;) Not everyone is going to like me all the time, as much as I don't want to accept it. I am going to probably annoy some people, some people will disagree with me, hate my parenting, my blog, my hair color, whatever . . . and that is life. But here is my constant question to myself. Do I care more about what they think of me and what I am doing, or more about what God thinks of me and what I am doing. Today when I was having a phone conversation where this person who does not know me, does not know who I am and what I stand for, when they were telling me things about myself that I "knew" was wrong, that I "knew" was off base . . . it hurt. I was shaking, I was angry, I felt very mistreated and wronged. I wanted to scream at them about how misguided they were, how they didn't know what they were talking about. I am not a fan of conflict. I don't totally avoid it completely-- if it is necessary and in this case, I believed it was necessary. But it was not easy, and in the end I was left thinking, why am I so upset about this. Is it because this person isn't perceiving me in the right way? Is there a grain of truth in what they said? I don't want to be so busy pointing the finger at this person that I miss an area where I was wrong (Matthew 7:5). When it came down to it, I did believe that what I did was honoring to God. So next came the question, if what I am doing is indeed honoring God, then can I be okay with this person not understanding or appreciating what I am doing in that situation? That, my friends, is not easy, but that is the place I am in. Learning to accept that others may not be okay with something, they may not like me for it, they may even be angry because I don't do what they want me to do. But as long as He does . . . I can be okay with that.

Snow Angels

2011-01-16T13:03:00.000-06:00

I love my sweet snow angels.

sweet daddy

2011-01-15T12:32:00.000-06:00

Oh. Deer.

2011-01-14T10:46:00.000-06:00

This has been quite the week. It started off with a crash. I hit a deer on the way home from youth group Sunday night. There was actually a group of them, running across the highway when they connected with our van. Literally. It was a very scary moment. One moment that happened so fast, yet was almost as if in slow motion. The van went spinning, and ended up facing oncoming traffic on highway 7. So thankful there was no oncoming traffic at that time. So thankful that everyone in our van was safe. I was driving and had Ava, Spencer, and Dona (Becca's friend who is like a part of our family) in the van. When we came to a complete stop there was complete and utter silence in the van. Dona and I made sure the kids were okay, and we started thanking God that we were all safe. {High Five, Jesus!} From the back of the van we hear Ava's voice. "That was fun!" she said. "Um, no Ava, it wasn't." was Spencer's response. It is all about [perspective] sometimes, isn't it.

Wednesday I may or may not have followed that up with my first speeding ticket since college.

Oh, and yesterday we heard that our van is indeed totaled. So this weekend on our anniversary getaway, Neil and I get to go car shopping. Which, as annoying as it is, in the grand scheme of things, is not a big deal. I am grateful that everyone was safe, which matters more to me than any vehicle.

Happy weekend, friends!

ETC {January 13, 2011}

2011-01-13T11:06:00.000-06:00

I haven't done Embrace The Camera in awhile, so I thought I would participate today. If you want the details on Embracing The Camera, you can go HERE. It's all about less worrying about just pics of the kids, and more about taking pictures WITH the kids.

Loving on my sweet little Spencer, circa 2002.

SnowPlay

2011-01-12T14:18:00.001-06:00

Click on this next photo and it will take you to Flickr and more of our winter shots . . .

Just my type.

2011-01-11T23:00:00.000-06:00

For Christmas we gave Becca an old typewriter that I had found in the fall. I knew that she had been wanting one, and had been looking around for one for awhile.

This one came with a super cute case. I added some white rub ons to the case, just 'cause I thought it needed a little something extra fun.

She was so excited to play with it.

I found this note she typed us the other day and all I have to say is, there are some moments in the teenager years where you think you are ready to just scream as a parent because let's face it, parenting is just, well, hard. Then there are those moments like this, the ones where you think, Thank You, Lord!, that in spite of it all . . . my lack, my failings, she is a fantastic and thoughtful part of our lives.

A little love story

2011-01-07T19:39:00.000-06:00

We used to go on these trips when I was in high school. With Lightshine, a music group that was a part of our church youth group. Many of my best high school memories happened on these trips. There were always cute boys on the trips. One was a cute boy named Neil. He floated in and out of our youth group. He was "that guy". I admired him, mostly from afar. I heard he wanted to be a youth pastor when he grew up. I really liked the idea of marrying a youth pastor.

We went on this trip to Chicago. He was there, too. I liked him. A lot. I was pretty sure he liked me too. Until I got back home and was introduced to his very pretty girlfriend. Awkward.

He did eventually smarten up and ask me out. On my 17th birthday.

We had two years of dating, filled with good times and a good amount of drama. Because let's face it, what teenage relationship doesn't have some drama? We will save those stories for another time. Oh, and as you can see, we had our pictures taken together in matching Nautica shirts at JC Penney's ... shudder. Yes, my hairstyle is hilarious... I know.

Then we got ourselves engaged. Again, that's another story for another time.

So first came love . . .

then came marriage . . .

{It was lovely, by the way}

then came the baby in the baby carriage . . .

Okay, four babies. That followed four very miserable pregnancies.

BUT we got this big, beautiful family out of the deal!

Our kids keep growing (even against our will at times), life goes on, and all of a sudden 17 years have passed since that very cold day in January when we got married. Two kids who didn't have a clue where they were going but they knew wherever it was they were going, they wanted to go together.

Happy Anniversary to my best friend, the love of my life, my husband.

You have given me a million memories, stories, and laughs.

The best is yet to come.

xoxo

It's as easy as 1, 2, 3

2011-01-04T09:54:00.003-06:00

Hey, here's an idea. Let's take a picture in front of the tree with the kids. No, that is too boring. Let's take it in a different pose. Like the one we took back in 2007. That was supercute.

{ It is not as simple as I remember. Kids sure have gotten older. And bigger.}

Okay Neil, you can do this!

Wait. Maybe this could work.

This is so not working. Just forget it.

Kids. In front of the tree. How original.

*Yes, I know. It's January and I should move on from the Christmas posts. But I am just not ready yet.

So there.

Ice Skating Fun

2011-01-03T10:23:00.037-06:00

Now we see as through a glass darkly,

but then, face to face.

1 Corninthians 1:13

Ice skating at Crown Center

[With our fantastic youth group]

A lovely night with truly lovely people. ♥

Glimpses of Change

2011-01-02T14:24:00.027-06:00

Thinking about all that God did for us in 2010. I wanted to try and summarize it, but truly there is too much! If you have followed my blog all year, you have certainly seen glimpses of all our changes throughout the year both in our personal life, ministry, and jobs too. I had some heartbreaking losses in 2010, and I am thankful to say that I ended the year with some strong friendships that helped me to endure. It was not always easy (some of it, in fact, very challenging), but God has provided and has walked with us through every storm. For that I am so very grateful and humbled. On to the new year!

Our church offered me a part time position on the Biblical Counseling staff, starting Jan 1st. I have been volunteering doing some lay counseling, and also have been working towards certification in Biblical Counseling through NANC. We had been praying that God would open a door for me to help our family income without having to work evenings/weekends, which often conflicts with youth ministry events. This was such a gift and I am so thankful for the opportunity.

I look with expectation to this next year. I have goals and dreams. Like a dream I have of visiting Pennsylvania again, I miss my PA people. ♥ I also think I would like to get on over to Lee's Summit, MO and meet up with some old friends there sometime this year.

Goals for myself involve things like . . . .

Learning how to sew. Like, realllly sew. Actual stuff.
Scrapbooking, painting, and crafting regularly.
Reading at least 2 new books each month.
Journaling regularly.
Reading through the Bible in a year with my hubby.
Giving more.
Feeding the hungry.
Helping those in trouble.
Oh, and drinking more water.

Verses that are floating in my head as I think about the next year:

2 Cor. 9:11-12 Yes, God will give you much so that you can give away much, and when we take your gifts to those who need them they will break out into thanksgiving and praise to God for your help. So two good things happen as a result of your gifts--those in need are helped, and they overflow with thanks to God.

Isa. 58:10-11 "Feed the hungry! Help those in trouble! Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you shall be as bright as day. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy you with all good things, and keep you healthy too; and you will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.

[Good stuff right??- from the Living Bible]

Oh, and on a totally different note . . . My nephew just turned one. My oh my does time fly by. I remember so clearly the day he was born.

I will leave you with a look at his sweet face. Don't you just want to squeeze those gorgeous cheeks??

Hello 2011

2011-01-01T08:58:00.002-06:00

May your day be filled with lots of fun & games!

My Family+The Plaza= Good Times

2010-12-31T11:04:00.003-06:00

The Plaza at Christmastime. It is one of my favorite places ever.

Hanging out with my family there isn't too shabby, either.

Bee insists on going to her favorite store everrr . . .

Foreverrr 21

The boys and Ava like the escalator, or as Ava calls it, the "step-a-later" there a lot. I do not plan on correcting her any time soon. Kinda like how Becca used to call pancakes "panty-cakes" until about the fourth grade because we didn't want to correct her, and since her version was much funnier. I did feel a tiny tinge of guilt when I saw her horrified face as the waitress from Perkins corrected her before we could stop her. But not too much cause, well, you gotta keep your kiddos young as long as possible, ya know?

Walking around in this beautiful Kansas weather is fun. Barnes & Noble at the Plaza= heavenly.

My family's favorite place to stop?

But of course, ice cream! Oh, and sorbet for Birdie.

Don't bother asking why my third child would look like he is choking himself during my postcard-like photo.

I have no clue whatsoever.

Becca has a duct tape ninja her friend made her that has become like a Flat Stanley of sorts. So you will probably see duct tape ninja in more pictures. Random but true fact, yes indeed.

The Country Club Plaza 2010

Good times, good times.

Tradition!

2010-12-30T22:36:00.000-06:00

We have all kinds of Christmas family traditions in our home. I love traditions. I thought I might share some of them with you, while they are fresh on my mind. We have gathered many of them from our own childhood memories, and also have found new ones along the way.

Ornaments are a big deal round our parts. The photo above is one from Neil's childhood that still hangs on my in laws Christmas tree each year. His grandmother would buy both Neil and his brother Ryan, a new ornament each year with a photo of them attached. On the right, a view of ornaments hanging on our tree. Each year, my mother in law, Connie, finds the perfect ornament that hints at what that child was involved in or passionate about that year. The anticipation always grows toward Christmas as the kids wonder what their ornament will look like that year. And I very much love that our family tree is filled with our children over the years, growing changing, and I adore every one.

Cinnamon Rolls. Every Christmas morning I make homemade cinnamon rolls that come from Grandma Bilyeu's special family recipe. The smell wakes up the kids, and we eat them after we open the gifts. Okay, so let's be real. There is a recipe. It is fantastic. I dream of making those homemade rolls every year. But, it never happens. I make the Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls because, well, it is quick, easy, and only slightly less delicious. Once I become the Supermom I dream of becoming someday . . . maybe then, the homemade cinnamon roll part might work out.

PJ's are another one of our family traditions. Each year our kids can open one gift on Christmas Eve (yet another tradition!). Just one gift, and they always know it will be new pj's that they can sleep in and have on for all those early morning Christmas photos. I used to be able to get the kids in adorable matching pj's . . . that is just a nice memory now however. But, new pj's nonetheless!

Stockings. I remember being a little girl and looking forward to the stockings even more than our gifts. My siblings and I would save our stocking for last, long after we had finished opening gifts we would still be slowly savoring the goodies found deep in our stockings. My mom would always find unique and special treasures that we would always love. They didn't cost much, but were meaningful and fun. I have really tried to continue the tradition of fun filled stockings with our own children.

The Wrap. Each year we use different wrapping paper to wrap each child's gift. Only mom and dad know which wrapping paper goes to which kid.

Reading the Christmas story from the Bible. Every year Neil's dad reads Luke 2 to the family. Just a brief reminder of the real gift of Christmas before all the craziness begins.

Hope your Christmas was merry & bright and filled with love and traditions of your own!

Star of Wonder, Star of Light

2010-12-18T14:04:00.000-06:00

Five for Friday

2010-12-17T10:46:00.000-06:00

1. I love getting Christmas cards. The anticipation of opening a card and seeing how much families have changed over the last year, and what they have been up to lately (if they attach a letter). It is one of my very favorite parts about Christmas and in fact I am very sad that we are not sending out any this year 'cause I quite enjoy that, too.

2. Finals week. Grr. Glad that is over after today. Not for me, mind you, but you know how it is. When your children weep, you weep. When your children laugh, you laugh. And when your children study? You got it.

3. I am loving this new nail polish I got, a very lovely shade of greige. Yes, greige. Thanks, Lucky Magazine, you did not steer me wrong. You Don't Know Jacques!

4. Listening to this recorded ornament that Neil made every morning. It has become a morning ritual now, Spencer will play this for me . . . every. single. morning. and you know what, I laugh, every.single.time.

5. My kids have been on a kick of watching old family videos. There is no entertainment quite like it in the world. Although sometimes I wonder, did we have to tape that entire children's program? Oh how I love seeing faces from our past, the kid's friends and how they have changed over the years, the crazy dance moves, my ever changing hairstyles . . . yeah, it's all good.

Sincerely Yours

2010-12-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

photo source

I love a good letter. So much so that I have a hard time parting with one, and have a whole collection to prove it. I have a box of letters back from when Neil and I were dating and engaged. In the box there are also papers with a variety of doodles (I ♥ Neil, N+F=TLA, etc), movie ticket stubs, and other random paraphernalia that I just could not part with due to the sentimentality of love. I also have a file folder overflowing with cards, letters, and special notes from people. Whenever I am feeling discouraged, or having a personal pity party, I like to get out my file and start reading. I always find it to be a huge dose of encouragement. Do you ever find an old letter, or something else that reminds you of a person who was very important to you in the past, but for whatever reason your paths don't cross anymore? I have a whole collection just like that, people who have sent me notes, and for whatever reason the note made an impact on me so I kept it. I have lots of letters from my father, who is a very thoughtful writer. Letters from important times in my life, graduating from high school, college, getting married, etc. I don't remember saving them because they were profound in any particular way, but instead because they are a reminder to me that I am special, I am loved, my Dad is proud of me. Sometimes we all just need to be reminded that we matter to the people around us, you know?

I am not great about writing letters or cards to other people. While I see the value, I am not in the practice of doing it. I think that the art of writing (yes writing, not texting, not email, but actual handwriting) is a discipline that takes time and effort. If I were to have New Years Resolutions for 2011, that would be one. To give people more encouragement through the written word. I think that this is part of why I love scrapbooking so much. It allows me to write words to my family, my children, that they can read long after I am gone. So . . . what about you, do you save notes people have given you over the years and do you go back and read over them later?

Happy Birthday Birdie

2010-12-11T07:43:00.025-06:00

Ava Marigold turns FIVE today.

I think about how much I have I have changed as a parent from my first to my last child, ten years difference, lots of changes in me as a momma, and for sure in how I parent and think in general.

I care much less than I used to about the unimportant things. Like making sure her clothes match all the time. Or that her hair is done perfectly before we leave the house. Ava dresses pretty much like a mix of Punky Brewster and Pippi Longstocking, she has a style all her own but it works for her. I used to care about other parents thought of me based on what my kid looked like. I care much less about that stuff these days.

I love the preschooler stage. That special time where she tells me everything in an unedited, honest and child like way. For instance, we were driving yesterday and passed a terrible smell outside. Ava starts giggling. I ask why, and she says, "I think God tooted!". I know how quickly time passes, I have a visual reminder every time that I look at Becca. I know that I will blink and Ava will suddenly be a teenager, talking about youth group and boys and studying and did I mention boys?

I love the unabashed way that my preschooler shares love, uninhibited and always generous. The way she wants us to hold her constantly. The way she wants to cuddle whenever possible. The way she tries to sneak into our bed every night to sleep. The way she wants to mimic me, whether is is putting on makeup like me, painting her nails like me or helping me in the kitchen. These are all things that I know pass so quickly and I want to hold on to this time for as long as possible.

So Happy Birthday to our little Birdie. Who promised me just last night that she will never grow up, never leave me and will never get married everrr. Fer shur.

Quiet

2010-12-08T20:48:00.000-06:00

photo source

I am still in a state of withdrawal not having TV anymore, but I do have plenty of other things that keep me busy. Currently a sick little girl keeping me laying next to me. But anyways. Life does go on and yes indeed, I am learning that I can live without it. I watched a show on the computer the other day, but it isn't as convenient because I can't get other things done at the same time. Our house is so quiet without a television on as background noise. I think that I didn't truly realize how loud it made the house until it was gone. I always just considered the noise typical for a home filled with 6+ people at any given time. But in fact, without TV our house is pretty quiet--especially during the day when the big kids are at school. I have found myself putting on my Pandora Christmas radio station some days just to break up the monotony of silence. Other days I just soak in the quiet peacefulness, treating it as the luxury that it is.

So, have you been without TV or are currently living without cable/TV by choice, and if so does it get easier? Will I grow to love not having it or will I turn into some weird person who stares like a zombie at the TV every time they are at someone else's house or in Target? (wink)

Silver & Gold

2010-12-06T13:54:00.000-06:00

"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold."

The Girl Scouts, they got it right. Friendship is so important, for me it is up on the list alongside breathing. I was able to get away to Washington, DC with my two girlfriends a few weeks ago. Jackie had to leave to get back to KC on Sunday so it was just Tracy and I until our plane left on Monday evening. It worked out that two of my girls from where our family used to live in Pennsylvania were able to drive over and meet up with us. Maureen and Jennie came on Sunday and stayed until we left on Monday for the airport. The night they arrived, we talked until about 4 in the morning. I have not seen these girls for over two years, and when we saw each other it was as if we had never been apart. Friendship like that, it is sweet. They know me, they love me, they get me (and all my little quirks). I am so blessed to have a lot of good people in my life. Friends who inspire me, feed my soul, and leave me a better person because of their influence. ♥

Hello Cupcake

2010-12-05T16:05:00.001-06:00

I need a Silent Night

2010-12-04T15:58:00.001-06:00

{Photo-2007}

I Need A Silent Night- Lyrics

I've made the same mistake before
Too many malls, too many stores
December traffic, Christmas rush
It breaks me till I push and shove

Children are crying while mothers are trying
To photograph Santa and sleigh
The shopping and buying and standing forever in line
What can I say?

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

December comes then disappears
Faster and faster every year
Did my own mother keep this pace
Or was the world a different place?

Where people stayed home wishing for snow
Watching three channels on their TV
Look at us now rushing around
Trying to buy Christmas peace

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

What was it like back there in Bethlehem
With peace on earth, good will toward men?

Every shepherd's out in the field
Keeping watch over their clock by night
And the glory of the Lord shone around them
And they were so afraid

And the angels said fear not for behold
I bring you good news of a great joy that shall be for all people
For unto you is born this day a Savior, who is Christ the Lord
And his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night
To end this crazy day with a silent night

Family Fotos

2010-11-30T21:10:00.000-06:00

My brother and sister in law, Ryan and Rosie, surprised the whole Bilyeu family with a photo shoot for Christmas this year. With the weather being so beautiful this fall, we were able to get out to Shawnee Mission Park and enjoy the warm weather.

Our photographer Jenae does beautiful work and you can check out more of her work at her website, imajfoto.com

Being a Tourist

2010-11-28T16:19:00.000-06:00

Black Friday version 2.010

2010-11-26T03:33:00.000-06:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year. The weather is getting winter-like and after a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving, I am ready for what comes next . . . Black Friday. I actually considered not going out this year (gasp!) until my little sister asked me to go with her on a hunt for a Black Friday deal (on a laptop). So, with that adventure in mind . . . I am off. Generally happy crowds everywhere, Christmas music playing, and a peppermint hot cocoa in hand. Now that sounds like a great day. Hope you have a good one, too!

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T11:27:00.000-06:00

1Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Just Lovely

2010-11-23T23:19:00.001-06:00

World English Dictionary

lovely (ˈlʌvlɪ)

— *adj* , -lier , -liest
1.	very attractive or beautiful
2.	highly pleasing or enjoyable: a lovely time
3.	loving and attentive
4.	inspiring love; lovable

— n , -lier , -liest , -lies
5.	slang a lovely woman

My weekend getaway to Washington DC was just what the doctor ordered. The women I spent time with this weekend, I love them dearly, and I came home feeling refreshed, renewed, and ready to face the world again. They completely [inspire] me. All for different reasons as they are unique, strong, faithful friends. I do not get enough time with my friends in general (it's just that stage of life, I think!) and especially these particular women . . . so the time I spent with them this weekend was cherished beyond words. What a joy it was to spend time walking the city with them, talking about the mundane details of our lives, talking about the important stuff, and sometimes not talking at all. It was good. So good.

I am so thankful that once again my husband stepped up and got things done at home so that I could be gone. Everybody knows it's not easy to do the job of two parents, and I am grateful for a husband who can do it, and do it with style. He is my absolutely favorite person on earth.

--Pictures are coming . . .

Etsy Eye Candy

2010-11-21T08:52:00.002-06:00

In honor of Thanksgiving this week . . .

Etsy Goodness

How cute is she??

One, two, three little Indians . . .

Turkey Time

Love this.

Have an attitude of gratitude as we prepare for another Thanksgiving celebration.

Give thanks in all circumstances . . . 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Telly

2010-11-20T14:23:00.001-06:00

My dad hates television, he always has. I think he even owns a t shirt that says, "Kill Your TV". We got our first TV in our house when I was around 7 or 8 years old, and we kept it in a closet for years. We could bring it out for Saturday morning cartoons, and for the Sunday night family movie specials . . . I remember watching The Sound of Music and other classics on a regular basis. My dad wanted us kids to be critical thinkers and not just absorb all the trash that is on TV. So guess what I remember doing with my siblings? Watching The Dukes of Hazzard and listing out all the positive and negative things that the show valued as we watched the show. Dad tried. We really have to give him credit that he made the effort. The problem is . . . that is, if he wanted us to hate TV, his plan kind of backfired. Because guess what? I love TV. Now, I know that I should not say such a thing. It is much more spiritual to say, "I never watch TV", but I am just keepin' it real here. I love a good story. I will read it in book form, audio form, magazine form, and yes, even television form. My DVR list is long, and I love that I never have to worry about missing a favorite show while I am out, say, having a life.

To take you back a bit, when 9/11 happened, we had been living in Pennsylvania for about 2 months, and were on a "TV Vacation". We had gotten rid of our television when we moved, and were not planning on getting another one anytime soon for no other reason than we wanted to see if we could live without it awhile. I found out about the first plane hitting the tower because my mom called, and told me to get to a TV rightthatsecond. I went rushing over to a neighbor's house and watched in horror the second plane crash on their TV. After that time, I promised we would never be without a television again. Now, keep in mind that that was before computers became such an every day part of our life and offered cool stuff like, say, full episodes of House right at our fingertips.

Pretty much all this is just to tell you all that our family is getting rid of cable in our house. And that includes my beloved DVR. That doesn't seem that big of a deal to a lot of people, I have friends without TV and many without cable, and lots without DVR. My kids don't seem to care one way or the other about TV. They must have gotten that from their grandfather. However, for me . . . this will be hmm, shall I say, a challenge? Don't misunderstand, I am completely on board with this. I think it will be great for me. I want to make this change for many reasons. For example, I am just imagining what I can get done, like folding laundry, without the distraction of my DVR'd shows luring me in every afternoon. I may be able to get studying done for my counseling exam. I may be able to blog more consistently. Oh, this will be good. So good. Right. Right? Right??

Dependence

2010-11-19T09:49:00.005-06:00

I was reading this article my dad wrote in his recent newsletter for his ministry. He shared some thoughts from Charles Stanley that resonated with me and I wanted to share it with you, too. This place I am in, this place of utter dependence on God, it is not a place where I am used to being, not a place where I am comfortable. It goes against everything I have thought in the past. But I am learning so much about my Savior and how he takes care of me. Enjoy the read, it's good food for thought.

Overcoming Self-Sufficiency by Charles Stanley

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

In many modern cultures, self-sufficiency is prized. People cheer over stories of the man who "pulled himself up by his boot straps." A lot of folks don't like to admit the need for help from other people or from the Lord, since a can-do attitude seems far more impressive. In a word, the problem is pride.

Adversity punches holes in pride. Paul reported that he had a lot of reasons to be arrogant—a good pedigree, education, religious fervor, etc. (Phil. 3:5-6). Even after his conversion, he had plenty of opportunity get a swelled head. God had specifically called him to carry the gospel to the Gentiles. But the Lord also gave him a "thorn in the flesh"—an obstacle so great that Paul required constant spiritual assistance to work through it. This was the pin that burst the apostle's pride balloon and then kept it so full of holes that it couldn't re-inflate.

God uses adversity in much the same way in our lives. We find ourselves in a situation that is beyond our capacity to handle. So we try to pull those bootstraps, but nothing happens. That is when God offers His sufficiency, His might, and His guidance. Those who submit to Him discover renewed strength, as His power dwells within them.

Self-sufficiency is no prize; it is a trap. That's why God's message is the opposite of the one that the world trumpets so loudly. Those who desire to conquer adversity must sacrifice self-reliance to depend upon Him. When we are weak, His Spirit makes us strong.

Totally Schooled

2010-11-18T12:06:00.001-06:00

source

So my boy Evan is officially a schoolboy again. I mean, other than the fact that he has had a fever this week and had to stay home for three days, grr. Yeah, he is back at school. Remember how I was all like, God closed the door for the private school? Well, God opened that door again. The principal called Neil and told him that while the 7th grade class was full, he spoke with the teachers and they all agreed to make room for my boy. It all happened so fast, but now Evan is there and loving it. This school has small class sizes, lots of rules and accountability, and it's all sprinkled with grace. If you know me well, you may be thinking, how can you afford private school? Well, we can't afford private school. But we do know that this is the place where Evan is supposed to be and we are trusting God to provide. Which is a scary, but necessary place to be in life sometimes. I will post more thoughts on that topic tomorrow!

The Break Up

2010-11-17T09:32:00.017-06:00

Dear Newspaper Route,

The end is near. We are counting down your last days. Neil now has eight guitar students. Just TWO students more and we will be kicking you to the curb. Our relationship with you will be over. And while we are thankful for the time we had with you, the memories we shared . . . . it will be time to move on. We (and by we, I mean Neil) have been looking forward to the days of sleeping all through the night, without interruption, for a very long time. This next summer, we may even be able to introduce our children once again to the concept of a family vacation. Maybe, just maybe. And don't worry, I am sure the right person is out there for you. As they say, there are always more fish in the sea.

Sincerely,

Thirty8 and counting . . .

2010-11-16T09:28:00.002-06:00

Why settle just to have a BirthDAY when you can have an entire BirthWEEK?

I love my life. It's not perfect and we have lots of stress at times, but I am thankful for the struggles because without them I would not have a true appreciation for the joys, the gifts, the pleasures of life.

On the 12th I celebrated another year of life.

My family loves me. They put up with me and my deep need for girlfriend time ( as you can see below). Oh, and Neil made me a super yummy homemade carrot cake for my birthday. He is a keeper.

MONDAY: I was able to sneak out of the house to meet a couple of good friends at Starbucks for a few hours to talk. I love how there are just some people you can talk to for hours and hours and it feels like hardly any time has passed at all.

WEDNESDAY: The Pioneer Woman Vs. Bobby Flay

THURSDAY-MONDAY: I am running away from home with my two soul sisters. We are actually getting on a plane and flying away. Until this actually happens, I don't think that I will really believe it myself. You are probably wondering where we are going. To Washington DC. My friend Jackie has to go for work, and so Tracy and I are tagging along. Kudos to Neil for supporting this trip and taking care everything at home for me so I can go and play.

My birthday present for YOU is that I am committing to being a better blogger this year. I will strive to daily (or almost daily) share with you the randomness that is my life, and I will try my bestest to not have weeks go by again without blogging.

A Very Scary Story!

2010-11-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

What better way to start election day than with a scary story??

Halloween Hoopla

2010-11-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

Ava's Preschool Party

The kids performed for their parents. Songs and stories.

Ava? Notsomuch.

Becca had friends over for trick or treating, games, and other mischief. She dressed up as "Norma", a girl from the 1950's. Evan had a couple friends over, but he did not dress up. Unless you call drawing abs on yourself with a sharpee marker and wearing a v neck shirt to be "Taylor Lautner" a costume. Which I do not. Having teenagers in the house is always super fun. Only one injury occurred, so that is good, I'm thinking. We had some family and friends over, soup and cider, and our chiminea was lit up all night long to keep us warm outside. As usual, we had TONS of kids come around the neighborhood. I love our neighborhood.

Spence, enjoying his loot. Poor guy had been sick the last couple days and missed his class party at school.

I think that it is totally within my parental rights to sample the goods . . . RIGHT??

Enjoy your treats while they last!

Our Birdie Tumbles

2010-10-27T10:51:00.001-05:00

How can I stay on the ground when I was born to fly?

A stamp makes all the hard ~~work~~ play worth it.

Ava's Mimi treated her to tumbling classes this fall, and she is LOVING it! Interestingly, the place she is tumbling at is the same place where I worked for my first job official job. The name & owner has changed but in many ways it still looks the same as it did when I was sixteen years old. Oh, and the bonus to this is having that hour every week to sit and talk to some other really great moms. :)

It is appropriately Monday.

2010-10-25T11:26:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or do your kids ever look at you like this?

I am totally stealing this quote from my friend Jill's blog:

I have observed, though, in these past few days when I have felt on the brink of losing my mind, the moments when I feel a bit more pieced together again.
The people I have spent time with in the past few days have no idea how just the acts of engaging in adult conversation, receiving a friendly hug, or offering a sympathetic nod have strengthened me, fortified me, and helped me weave the shreds of my soul back together again.

I wish that I had written that. Because that is exactly how I am feeling.

Oftentimes I read something and think, that is what I think too, they just wrote it a lot better than I ever could have. I am not a writer, I actually started blogging as a way to better keep in touch with loved ones far away years ago. It has developed into a way of journaling life, a hobby of sorts. I like to keep my blog on the upbeat side, not because I want to act like life is perfect because it most certainly is not. It is more that I am not gifted much in the way of expressing my emotions in written form and if I can't do it as I would like to, sometimes I would rather say nothing at all. I know it is terrible. I am trying to work on it though.

I feel pulled into a million different directions these days. All good. Or mostly, anyway.

Neil and I had been checking into a local Christian school for Evan for the past few weeks. Homeschooling has been very challenging for the both of us, and I was ready to be d-o-n-e with it. I prayed that God would close the door if that wasn't where He wanted Evan for now. And you know what? He did. He closed the door in a very clear way. When I found out, I wanted to get in bed, cover my head, and cry. This is so very much not what I wanted. But He did answer my prayer. Even if it wasn't the answer I wanted, I still do desire to be faithful to what He has called me to do for right now. So I put on my big girl pants and am getting back to it. Just another manic Monday.

Fall Life

2010-10-14T12:17:00.000-05:00

Becca + friends + School Dance (for approx 20 min?) + Power Play =

Homecoming 2010

The boys in our family scored tickets to Nascar (thanks to my brother in law).

Evan loves sports cars so he was in car heaven.

Becca finished her first tennis season. Those two months sure do fly by fast!

Open Mic Night is a favorite of ours. It is an opportunity the youth have to show their God given talents in a fun, concert like setting. Oh, and there was a totally groovy dance contest, too.

This one was a 70's theme, full of bell bottoms, afros, and fondue.

I love seeing all the talent we have in our youth group.

Life is really messy.

The husband of one of my closest friends was diagnosed with lymphoma yesterday. I have known this couple since Jr High, I love them so very much. To see them going through this is so painful, it physically hurts.

Superchick - Still Here

From the album Reinvention

Cross through the night

I looked down and lost my way my light

Brought to my knees

Though the dark surrounds, it pulls me down

I do not sink beneath

Still here

Staggering on

Through the impossible

We remain

I can breathe

one more day

Still here

Still fighting on

All we have is today

Find my way

To the beauty of one more day

Still here

Hope fades away

When tomorrow holds no promises today

Then today I am set free

For amidst the tears, amongst the fear

I find the joy to be

Still here

We've Got Potential

2010-09-22T14:47:00.000-05:00

I just wrote this super long, really good post about working out. Which of course you will just have to trust me on as I just deleted the whole stinkin' thing by accident. Sigh. Okay, really, it probably wasn't that great, but you don't know that. ;)

Here's what I wanted to say, in less words:

I have been working out with my hubby 6 days/week. Doing Insanity (thanks, neighbors). Which is seriously insane, I kid you not. Every day I think I am going to die, literally. Good thing I have Neil to spur me on, otherwise I would just eat cheerios and watch Regis instead.

You may be thinking, so what does working out have to do with the picture of the guitar at the top of your post? Well, nothing in fact. It has everything to do with the exciting news I am about to tell you . . .

Neil is doing this super cool thing. He is teaching guitar lessons now. Lord willing, we can replace the newspaper gig with this. It is MUCH better for someone who needs a flexible side job because of youth events, retreats, camps, missions trips, and perhaps even this thing I have heard about called a family vacation.

If you know of someone wanting to start learning guitar (and if you are local to us)... please just ask me for details, we can email you the info. Neil taught guitar when we were living in Pennsylvania, so this isn't entirely new to him.

I will be such a happy camper if this takes off and he can start getting a full night of sleep again. Say a prayer that it goes well!

Love, Paint, and Art Craftiness

2010-09-20T13:41:00.000-05:00

During the month of September, my sister Vanessa and I have some of our artwork and homemade cards on display at Homer's coffeehouse in Overland Park. It was really fun to do this with her, and getting crafty is one of my favorite things to do with all of my spare time (wink). My little sister inspires me constantly. I was happily surprised last weekend when one of my pieces sold . . . makes me feel like an official artist. Sort of.

Playing with paint and getting messy = sweet happiness.

Listening to over and over again . . .

2010-09-19T22:02:00.000-05:00

*source

♥ How He Loves ♥

Verse 1:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us all,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain this regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Chorus 2:
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Yes, indeed. I am a fan of fall.

2010-09-08T10:44:00.001-05:00

fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walkin blues
climb the fence, books and pens
i can tell that we are gonna be friends
yes i can tell that we are gonna be friends
LINK TO SONG :)

Ava was giddy with excitement to start preschool yesterday. She has been talking about it all summer long and when the big day finally arrived she could hardly stand it. That is of course until we got to the school and she realized that I was not staying with her. Uh oh, did I not mention that part? Ah well, in the end she did great and was bursting with news when I picked her up. She has a friend who she sat next to! And her friend told her that she has a boyfriend, an actual boyfriend, she informed me! Oh no.

Becca is doing great with her new adventures in tennis. She had a match last week that she was on her way to winning when it got called for thunder and lightning. Then yesterday she and one of her besties, Dona, won their doubles match. Not bad for being new to this sport, I'd say.

This is Dona, who is practically a part of our family. In other big Dona news, she is getting baptized this Sunday at our church. Yay! :)

Epic Fail

2010-08-30T20:46:00.000-05:00

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I am the queen of good intentions.

I really do hate that characteristic about myself.

It means I come up with all these great ideas, and it means that I can't get them all done. Or even most of them some days. Which is frustrating to no end. I have a package that has been waiting for me to take it to the post office for months now. Crafty gifts to make for loved ones. I recently found a stash of old (filled out but never sent) thank yous from one of our boys birthday parties oh, last year, I think? I have all kinds of things to do that would be so great if I could just find the time . . . I know it would be a blessing to someone, but I just can't seem to squeeze it into my life, or in my priorities perhaps. The "tyranny of the urgent" has become my life these days, which is simply maddening.

Then there are all those "mom" moments where I feel like a failure. Things like how last week I was putting Ava to bed. The bedtime routine was stretching out into an hour long process and I had just about had it. So I stomped into Ava's room and starting yelling at her, telling her how I couldn't take it any longer! She needed to get to bed and now!! And what did she do? My little Ava looked up at me from her bed with eyes filled with big crocodile tears and said, "But Mommy. I am just a little girl and you are not supposed to yell at me." It kind of felt as if I had been punched in the gut.

I felt like such a failure. That of course is just one moment out of the many moments where I am aware of how I have failed my kids, my husband, my family. Where I want to crawl into bed and stay there forever.

On Sunday, our pastor shared some things that I have continued to think about ever since. He was teaching from Mark 14:66-72 on the topic of Peter. I cannot do the entire topic justice of course, but I will share what I got out of it and how it got me thinking. Basically Peter like really screwed up. He had just denied knowing Christ. And if we look only at that slice of his life we would probably think, wow, what a waste. He was a big FAIL. And by doing that, we would be overlooking what a huge impact he would go on to make after Jesus' death. Which then got me thinking about King David. David did stuff that would make us gasp if we heard the story about a friend of ours. He fell in love with someone else's wife then proceeded to plot the husband's murder so that he could have this guy's wife. Um, yeah, that's pretty bad, right! If we just saw this part of his story, we would think he was a complete failure. But isn't it interesting that this guy was one that was called a "man after God's own heart". [Things that make you go, huh?]

There are people in my life for whom I pray desperately for. People I love who seem like they are set on the path of destruction. You may have people like that in your life, too. And I struggle to not give up hope. To keep believing that someday they will have an amazing testimony of God's grace and faithfulness in their life.

I guess what I am saying is that I think we get so caught up in judging other people-- and ourselves-- when we can't see the whole picture. We have no idea what God is doing in someone else's life. And in our own. So when we see someone struggling, who looks like they are in the pit (and maybe they truly are), it is a good thing to remember to pray for them. Praying that God will do a mighty work in their life and change them into the people that He wants them to be. I do not want to give up praying for those people who seem "too far gone" . . . because we have NO IDEA of what the future holds for them. And not only for other people, but for me, too. I need to practice giving myself grace instead of beating myself up over my past failures and failed good intentions.

[Loving] Kansas City

2010-08-24T15:04:00.000-05:00

ETC-- {August 19th edition}

2010-08-19T07:09:00.000-05:00

Disney Princess Match Game. Serious Competition.

Birdie is a fierce competitor.

She totally kicked my patootie at this game.

Learn all about Embrace The Camera HERE.

Have a great day!

Then & Now

2010-08-18T15:22:00.000-05:00

Look what I just saw at the Gap. HERE. If you EVER see me in a pair of stirrup pants, you have my permission to slap me upside the head. I don't care if they are back in style, they are one of the most unflattering styles I have ever seen on a grown woman. Ever.

Now THIS trend I may just be able to get on board with.

Speaking of back in the day, here are some old pics from back when Neil and I were dating. The pics are scanned and not the greatest quality but hey, that's life. I will guess that this is from circa 1992 or '93?

I remember we took Neil's tripod and drove around looking for cool places to take pictures.

(Hmm, not much has changed since then, has it!)

So how bizarre-oh is it that last week I took my kids to this very spot on the Plaza and took pictures of our kids?? We have come full circle. Whatever that means.

She's gonna blow!

2010-08-17T13:41:00.000-05:00

A monumental day has occurred in our house. Ava has now joined the ranks of the great bubble gum blowers. I think it is a great accomplishment for a four year old, and she is so proud of herself.

In other random news . . .

Bee has started playing tennis for her high school. Practices every day after school will fill her time. The season is only two months long, but filled with several tennis matches weekly. She has also started a weekly Bible Study with some other freshman girls she knows. She and her friend Devynn came up with the idea, and a name. Flawless. (Prov 30:5 NIV) I think it's kind of catchy myself.

Spencer is loving 3rd grade so far. His teacher is Mrs. Sloan. He is especially thrilled to have one of his best buddies, Keegan, in his class. I just hope they don't get in trouble together . . . ;)

Evan and I are getting back into the swing of the homeschooling thing, slowly but surely. This morning we went to Homer's Coffee House where we got some free chai tea lattes (thanks to some promotion they were having), and we got to hang out with my sis-in-law Jan and my nephew for a bit. Plus my sister's hubby, Glenn, who runs the joint, was around. Evan was able to do all of his daily reading while I relaxed and in one moment I thought to myself, "wow, this is super nice". If only it was always so peaceful to homeschool, right!

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Hey, on another note, I want to thank you for taking the time to read my little thoughts about this and that. And thank you for those who "follow me" or subscribe to my blog to get my posts in your email (listed on either side of this blog). I love knowing who my audience is, who is reading about our little world and it makes me feel special that you care. So thanks for that. Oh, and one more thing. When you share a comment, it totally makes my day. ☺

Back To School

2010-08-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

This year we get to have a child in preschool, one in elementary school, one in middle school, and one in high school. It is busy, fun times in our house! We have all the bases covered. And no, don't tell me we need a baby to cover all the base . . . because I still have AVA, hello! She will always be our baby, no matter her age. So there. I got the kids out for "back to school" pictures and here is some of what I captured around Kansas City.

I will post more ~~tomorrow~~ as soon as possible, depending on how my week goes, if you know what I mean. Life is keeping me crazy with getting into the swing of homeschooling Evan (7th grader), and well, life in general. I feel pretty all over the place with the million and one things I should be getting done at this very second. I have so many good intentions that just don't get done . . . I could write an entire post on that topic alone! Ah, well, so that is my life, I guess. On a happy note, God has answered some pretty amazing prayer requests that I have have been praying for some wonderful people in my life lately . . all I can say is, that is so very lovely. ♥

Counting My Blessings

2010-08-07T12:43:00.000-05:00

This has been a difficult summer for a variety of reasons. The last few weeks I have been in a funk. It's been hard to blog, I haven't been online much, or even wanted to play my scrabble games on facebook-- you know it's not good when I don't do that! ;) My attitude has been in serious need of an adjustment. Unfulfilled expectations. Disappointments. Loss. Stress. You know, all the normal stuff that happens in everyday life.

So this week I have been convicted again that I need to focus on being thankful. Interesting how that really does change my perspective. To daily focus on all the blessings in my life and how much I have to be truly grateful for.

Counting my blessings, name them one by one . . .

Not just the big, obvious things. I mean, hey, we have a lot of those, too. Things like awesome grandparents who take my kids out and spoil them with back to school shopping that we would not be able to do otherwise. But also being aware of the little things to be thankful for. Like the fact that I got to totally sleep until 10am this morning. And the fact that my entire family loves listening to our favorite radio station, Air One, together and we are so happy to have it on the air in KC. Oh, and the fact that school starts this next week. Which means that fall is on it's way. Cooler weather and all the beauty that comes along with it . . .

God is good, all the time. Even when life doesn't "feel" good, and even when it's messy and painful. I think I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.

So here is your reminder, too. Just in case. xoxo

Embrace The Camera: August 5th Edition

2010-08-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

Embrace The Camera helps me to focus on taking pictures of me with my kids. While I can scrutinize every picture that I am in, and I tend to delete most of them, I know that it is something I should do because I love pictures of me with my parents when I was growing up. (Excuse that huge run on sentence, ha!) The pics I have with my mom are few and far between so I want to change that for my kids. SO here we go . . .