youth ministry and all that jazz

Let's talk youth group, shall we?  Neil and I are in our thirties-- yes, I can still say that until November this year, then I have to bump up to being officially old  forty.  Forty in youth ministry years is like, ancient.  No one can figure out why you still want to work with youth, surely you stop relating to them at some point (or so I have heard).  I was twenty-one when we started at our first church out of college with Neil as the youth pastor. I think we were pretty cool back then, but I am not for certain. I remember when we would go places and everyone thought we were one of the youth. (Side note:  I got to see first hand how poorly people treat teenagers, just because they can.) As time passed, I went from being highly involved in every aspect of our youth ministry to being a busy mom with one, then two, then three, and finally four kids. I missed being a part of every event.  I hated missing camps, retreats, missions trips. I felt so out of the loop. I am ashamed to say a lot of the time I was just plain jealous.  Jealous of the kids that got to spend time with my husband, having fun and being crazy.  Jealous of cute girls who reminded me of a time before I became a frumpy mom.  I pretty much went through a stage of the big bad attitude.

Gradually being at home with the kids became the new norm. I developed a new appreciation for Neil and what he does.  I saw what an dynamic leader that he is, and how he really does just fine without my "help".  You see, when we were young, I used to think I knew a lot more than I think I know now.  I used to think, wow, Neil sure is lucky to have me by his side. It is funny to look back on, the arrogance that I had. Oh, and it didn't just show itself in ministry.  I totally thought I knew how to parent, too.  God has such a good sense of humor . . . he gave us our children and it opened my eyes to how little I do in fact know.  But anyway, back to youth ministry.  Being able to start getting back into stuff as our kids grew, attending youth group more consistently, bringing the younger kids along, it has been awesome.

I love the place we are at now.  I love that we now have our own kids in youth group, we are able to bring the young ones, too.  I love being older with some history to look back on, and a better perspective overall.  Time has given me a greater understanding of life in ministry.  I now have an understanding that sometime people just don't like you. Sometimes they don't want to be a part of our youth group.  They will not always appreciate our ideas, our events, the way we handle different situations or conflict.  We will never be everything to everyone. There are seasons in life, seasons that you see change over the years when you are married to the guy who does "the youth stuff".   I have no idea why I am writing all this. It is just my life and it is what it is.  I will end with a couple of my favorite quotes, actual quotes of things people have said to us.  More than once.

"So are you going to try and promote to Sr. Pastor someday?"

"I drove past the church on Tuesday and saw Neil's car there.  I don't understand, why would he be there during the week?"