Sassypants

Do you see who lives in our house?  Miss.Sassy.  She has a whole lotta attitude, that is for sure.

She wants to be a model.

Just in case you couldn't tell.

Pray for us.  I think we are in trouble with this one!

youth ministry and all that jazz

Let's talk youth group, shall we?  Neil and I are in our thirties-- yes, I can still say that until November this year, then I have to bump up to being officially old  forty.  Forty in youth ministry years is like, ancient.  No one can figure out why you still want to work with youth, surely you stop relating to them at some point (or so I have heard).  I was twenty-one when we started at our first church out of college with Neil as the youth pastor. I think we were pretty cool back then, but I am not for certain. I remember when we would go places and everyone thought we were one of the youth. (Side note:  I got to see first hand how poorly people treat teenagers, just because they can.) As time passed, I went from being highly involved in every aspect of our youth ministry to being a busy mom with one, then two, then three, and finally four kids. I missed being a part of every event.  I hated missing camps, retreats, missions trips. I felt so out of the loop. I am ashamed to say a lot of the time I was just plain jealous.  Jealous of the kids that got to spend time with my husband, having fun and being crazy.  Jealous of cute girls who reminded me of a time before I became a frumpy mom.  I pretty much went through a stage of the big bad attitude.

Gradually being at home with the kids became the new norm. I developed a new appreciation for Neil and what he does.  I saw what an dynamic leader that he is, and how he really does just fine without my "help".  You see, when we were young, I used to think I knew a lot more than I think I know now.  I used to think, wow, Neil sure is lucky to have me by his side. It is funny to look back on, the arrogance that I had. Oh, and it didn't just show itself in ministry.  I totally thought I knew how to parent, too.  God has such a good sense of humor . . . he gave us our children and it opened my eyes to how little I do in fact know.  But anyway, back to youth ministry.  Being able to start getting back into stuff as our kids grew, attending youth group more consistently, bringing the younger kids along, it has been awesome.

I love the place we are at now.  I love that we now have our own kids in youth group, we are able to bring the young ones, too.  I love being older with some history to look back on, and a better perspective overall.  Time has given me a greater understanding of life in ministry.  I now have an understanding that sometime people just don't like you. Sometimes they don't want to be a part of our youth group.  They will not always appreciate our ideas, our events, the way we handle different situations or conflict.  We will never be everything to everyone. There are seasons in life, seasons that you see change over the years when you are married to the guy who does "the youth stuff".   I have no idea why I am writing all this. It is just my life and it is what it is.  I will end with a couple of my favorite quotes, actual quotes of things people have said to us.  More than once.

"So are you going to try and promote to Sr. Pastor someday?"

"I drove past the church on Tuesday and saw Neil's car there.  I don't understand, why would he be there during the week?"

Slacker Mom, version 2.0

Let's revisit Kindergarten and all the fun that goes along with this topic, shall we? After my last vent, I sent a note to Ava's teacher and let her know that I am not interested in stressing my kindergartner out.  I said that I want Ava to have positive experience with school her first year. We received a note back that lamented the fact that there is no full day kindergarten, and that is what we need, and much of the work is falling to parents because of the lack of full day. She said, "Do your best, Ava will be fine."  Great.  That is what I was looking for, actually. :) Fast forward to parent-teacher conferences where we are told that we should consider hiring a TUTOR for our six year old this summer because, while she does know her sight words, she is unable to say all of them "within 3 seconds" of being shown her flashcards. Yep. A tutor. What the hay??

I don't get on board with demanding my kids excel in every aspect of school. Am I alone? Alright, go ahead and add that to my slacker mom qualities, I am okay with that.  I do want them to enjoy learning. I do want them to be hard workers. I want them to be able to communicate well, and to be an edumacated (did you catch that? ;)) member of society. But in my humble opinion, there is more to life than school. School is not life. Nope. You will never be able to convince me of that.  My ultimate goal for my kids?  To have a passion for God, and compassion for others. In other words, Love God + Others. If they do great in school (and thankfully, for the most part they do), that is a bonus.  While I am at it, I am not going to force any of my kids to go to college.  I really hope that they choose that, because I loved the college experience, but I am totally okay with them choosing a different path.  Too many people are spending a ton of money on college and then graduating with huge debt + no job for me to advocate college just for college's sake.

These Moments

My cousin Debbie sold Tupperware back when I got married.  Before the wedding we had a Tupperware bridal shower of some sort where I got a ton of Tupperware.  One thing in particular that I remember was a dish that was the perfect size for making meals for two.  We used that salmon colored dish constantly.  We lived in this little apartment in our little college town.  Other than our neighbor's maybe seven year old son who would come and ask if Neil could play, or an occasional study group, it was pretty quiet in our place.  Most of our college friends were single at the time, and they didn't like to come over to our apartment much . . . the assumption was that we were always "busy", and I don't mean busy with schoolwork ifyouknowwhatImean, being newlyweds and all.  So it was a bit on the lonely side until we got to know some other married couples.

Fast forward to today.  Life is very rarely quiet.  Our house is typically messy, it just is what it is.  When I buy food, it disappears quickly, so it seems as if there is never anything to snack on.  That salmon colored dish has fallen to the wayside after being relegated as too small for anything other than a side dish. In life we do a lot of running around, taking kids to friend's, school activities, youth group activities, and everything else.  I always have a list of appointments and phone calls that need to be made.  Sometimes I can become overwhelmed by all that I need to do but can't quite get accomplished.

This past week I was making dinner, and I was looking around grumbling to myself about how lovely it would be to have a table free from paperwork, when it struck me once again.  Life is so fleeting.  This time, it is zooming by, and soon Neil and I will be back to a quiet, possibly clean, house once again.  In the blink of an eye this stage of life will be over and I will be reminiscing about the days when I was feeding teenagers and cleaning up the same spills over and over, and maybe even laughing about the constant mediation of arguments between siblings. Or not. ;)

Having kids is not something I want to take for granted.  It is an awesome, sacred gift that some days feels like more than I deserve.  I do not feel worthy of the responsibility that God has given us.  In those moments, where I can see the place that I am in right now, I so do not want to have regrets.  I want to have an attitude of appreciation for this stage of my life where I am able to serve my family in a way I never will be able to again.  It is an act of service to clean up those spills, to make a meal that our family can enjoy together, and even cleaning those toilets.  Some people would do anything to be able to have the privileges that I complain about.  I am spoiled rotten.  There will be plenty of time for cleaning, for now I want to focus on enjoying the moments, and being thankful for what I have.

Life as a multi-tasker AKA "Mom"

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN by Kathy Fictorie

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.

She'll pour herself some.  Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.  She'll wipe it up.  Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.  She'll remember she has to do laundry.  When she puts the laundry in the washer, she will trip over boots into the freezer.  Running into the freezer will reminder her . ..  she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger.  She'll look for her cookbook.  The cookbook is under a pile of mail.  She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook.  The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.  She will smell something funny. While she is changing her two year old the phone will ring.  Her five year old will answer the phone and hang up.  She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee.  Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.  She will pour herself some.  And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.


This made me laugh when I read it on a friend's status.  I can so very much relate! My kids, they are beyond the diaper stage (praise the Lord)but for some reason I still can't focus on just one task. And they still eat my treats.  They find my hidden chocolate stash every. single.time.
Let's face it, it is the ADD, I mean, multi-tasking behavior described above that helped me to get my toilets cleaned yesterday. Some days, you take what you can get ... yes?