Last night I came home late, after meeting some friends in Reading (for you non-PA people, it sounds like Redding). As I came inside I glanced up at Becca's window and saw what appeared to be a flashlight, on, standing up against her window. Crawling in bed I couldn't get it out of my head. I was tired, so tired, yet needed to go look in her room and confirm that it wasn't a fire hazzard of some sort. I tossed and turned until I couldn't take it anymore. Finally I got out of bed and headed up to her room, considering that perhaps it is the Holy Spirit prodding me to get up and check. The verdict? It was fine, completely safe and harmless.
Why am I saying all this? Because I feel like this is typical of how I am lately. I believe so fervently that I am doing God's will in particular areas, yet in the end I seem to be misguided. I am so convinced that we are going to a particular church because God has given me so many signs . . . then He shuts, no slams!, the door so that I will clearly understand that indeed that is not where He wants us. I can think of several other times lately where I am seeking Him, and feel like He is telling me to do something. I do it, then later wish I had not or see that I didn't need to do that or it would have been better had I not. I am in a place of being humbled again and again, being reminded that I am not in control and I need to stop pretending that I am! (And praise God for that, because He does a much better job with my life than I do.)
I want to be the kind of person who God can tell to do something random and I will do it. You know the stories, many of you have experienced it personally (I know I have). Where you feel God is leading you to do something that feels weird but you obey and see how God had ordained that very act because it makes a profound impact on someone else, you, or both. I feel like it has been a while since I have been used like that, and I want that to happen again.
Do any of you have stories like this? If so, please share with a comment!
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